because people get confused

| | Comments (4)

so i have this endearing/irritating habit of not calling people by the names their parents chose for them.

i thought this might be helpful.

CALVRETT JUSTEN = big nigerian guy = calvert = culvert = smallculvert.jpg = culvy = culv

KYRSTIN = small swedish girl = klyrstin = klerf = klerfy = clefairy = klarf = clearchannelstin = little eggy

CLIFTON = medium-sized brazilian guy = kiki = cliquey = c/klick(y) = c/klack(y) = klax = clafton = klaffy

LAUREN = roommate = warren = biscombe = biscuit = biscy = laxbix = schmiedler = schmiedling = schmiedybrains = schmiedlpants

there are others, but i think for the most part they're fairly intuitive. like alison = jessica.

4 Comments

KLACKI said:

ew laxbix? how do i not know of that one slash can i take some when i'm constipated

KLACKI said:

! please tell me you were the k8 that commented on feministing.com about the awesome/dumb chauvinist's article about fucking the feminist out of women Oo

Warren Author Profile Page said:

Klaffy:
NO you cannot take some of me when you're constipated. And remember to use the bexment bathroom or your own bathroom for vegan hippie shits.

Kate:
How come I don't get a nickname with a size attached?

And ps- alison = jessica is hardly intuitive, unless you're us.

k8 Author Profile Page said:

that was the /joke/, schmiedl. sometimes i say things that aren't true. for humor.

also the first 'nicknames' are just so that people know who each person is. like how many times have my parents asked me if kiki is black. i can change it to FAT SLUTTY ROOMMATE, though, if that would make you feel better.

Leave a comment