for christinahahaha

this is pretty much the funniest thing ever.

After like three pages, we get it, but don't worry, Wilson continues to win at things that aren't even competitions, like later in the book when Jack is eating a hotdog and Wilson comes up to him and goes "You call that a hot dog?" and then presents his footlong hot dog. I didn't make that up, that is a literal scene from the book.

...

Besides a series of stretches, the book gives a recipe for a flying dough that you ingest in order to be able to fly. The recipe contains yeast, which, the Flying Lessons book helpfully points out, rises. Literal thought process on the part of Jack: "Yeast does rise. Maybe this could work." Wow.

...

He flies up near the sun, which isn't, to the best of my science knowledge, close enough to the earth that you could fly near it and also still see your house down below, but then again I guess it's not possible to fly either so here we are.

oh, r.l. stine. what will you even think of next?